Top Ten Single Guy Meals

So, you got your very first job.  You’ve been working for a few months now, saving up your dough.  You and a couple buddies decide to get your own place.  SWEET!  You pick out an apartment or house, give it a sweet name like ‘Fort Awesome’ or ‘The Where?house’ (actual names of places I’ve lived) and you move in.  You’re having parties, rockin’ beers and having SEGA NHL 94 tournaments until all hours of the night.  Things are awesome, until reality hits – you now have to pay for everything.  No, no, EVERYTHING.  For those of you young fellas out there who may find yourself in a situation that I was once in, here are my top ten single guy meals (in no particular order):

 

10. Cereal

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 1

Dirty Dish Index: 2

Pros: Variety

Cons: Must have fresh-ish milk

 

9. Soup & Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 3

Dirty Dish Index: 3 (2 if you eat the soup directly out of the pot)

Pros: Yup, dunk that sandwich

Cons: High ingredient count

 

8. Frozen Pizza

Cost: Medium

Difficulty: 3 (try to land in between ‘frozen’ and ‘charred’)

Dirty Dish Index: 0, if you eat it like a man

Pros: Easy prep, variety

Cons: Long-ish cook time

 

7. Rice with salt, pepper and butter

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 2

Dirty Dish Index: 2

Pros: Easy prep

Cons: Low on flavour

 

6. Mac & Cheese with cut up boiled hot dogs

Cost: Medium

Difficulty: 4

Dirty Dish Index: 3

Pros: Sunday dinner-esq, eating cheese-type products AND meat-type products

Cons: High effort level required

 

5. Instant Noodles

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 1

Dirty Dish Index: 1

Pros: Cheap & easy

Cons: Not very filling, and just kinda sad to be honest

 

4. Scrambled Eggs

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 3

Dirty Dish Index: 3

Pros: Cheap but healthy

Cons: Not many

 

3. Oven chips

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 2

Dirty Dish Index: 2

Pros: Who doesn’t like oven chips?

Cons: Can get expensive quickly if you want fancy accoutrements like ketchup or vinegar

 

2. Bag of potato chips

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 0

Dirty Dish Index: 0

Pros: Mix in some dip if you’re feeling adventurous

Cons: Keep this up too long and you may get scurvy

 

1. Peanut butter & jam sandwich

Cost: Low

Difficulty: 1

Dirty Dish Index: 1

Pros: Quick, cheap and easy.  Toast this bad boy if you want to mix things up!

Cons: Gets old, quick

 

BONUS MEAL: Spaghetti

Cost: High

Difficulty: 5

Dirty Dish Index: 5

Pros: This is your go-to meal when you have a date coming over.  It’s easy enough that any dope can make it but tough enough to make her think you’re actually putting some effort in.  Mom can talk you through this one over the phone.

Cons: Longer prep and cook time.  Lots of dishes to do afterwards. Spaghetti noodles, sauce, ground beef, wine, bread… Best to plan this for just after pay day.  Lots of ways this can go wrong if you’re not prepared.

 

Pro tip: Do NOT do what me and my buddy Nick did and buy a 3 litre tub of mustard with a huge plunger-pump on top like you see at sporting events.  Yes you will be eating a lot of sandwiches but not that many.  It took us over 3 years to use up all that mustard.

 

Good luck boys,

Mike

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